NEWSFLASH!! I CAN MAKE YOU THIN!!!

Forget Paul McKenna, just take the first train to crazytown and shwazam! Okay, before you get excited I’m not actually thin but this dating malarkey is playing havoc with my eating skillz. As in, I don’t have any because I am racked by extreme nervous tension resulting in a state of perpetual date-related knotty belly syndrome. Last night, for example, I had dinner with a friend and despite a measly tuna sandwich being the only sustenance to have passed my lips all day, I still could not finish my meal. Unprecedented! At least if I don’t get a boyfriend out of all of this, I may lose a few pounds. ...Or just pass out.