Fifth Date

Comrades, we have recently been on the receiving end of a terrible rumour. Some key rules of the dating game have changed. Allegedly. In the olden days it went something like this:


1. sleep with the guy on a first date, you'll be considered a loose woman and will never hear from the bloke in question again.


2. sleep with the guy on a second date, you'll be judged, might get a third date or more likely a drunken booty call but he will almost certainly write you off.


3. sleep with the guy on the third date. Totally acceptable. This man might actually go out with you for more than about five minutes.



So third date. THIRD DATE, people.



Fast forward to the year 2010 and imagine our surprise (and dismay) as some bright young things tell us we now have to wait until fifth date. Fifth Date? FIFTH DATE??!! Are you kidding? Given that it takes an average of two weeks to organise one date in this crazy town, I'll be like 85 before I score again.

I recently ran this newfangled rule past a guy friend of mine who instantly sank into a depressive state, declared he might as well be a eunuch or otherwise enlist the services of a 'professional' to save both time and money.

A recent poll we conducted (very scientific I assure you despite the lack of clipboards), showed that most of us are struggling to get to second date, let alone fifth and only one person had heard about this supposed new rule anyway. ...suspicioussss...

So, "Fifth Date", the youngsters might like you but you're not welcome round these parts. Yes, the game has changed and dating might have gone digital but as far as the rules go, we're playing old school, baby.