mmmm, chalky

I was feeling left out of today's posting frenzy so thought I'd share a little story told to me by a friend last night.

Said friend is in foreign country, alone, and has managed to hook up with a gang of impossibly cool and good looking guys, one of whom she has bagged the night before. She is heading out to meet said crowd in a little restaurant and as she exits her hotel she spies them walking up ahead. It's too far to run (this is a hot country) but she speeds up a little bit to try and catch up with them. Gaining on them rapidly, she realises she ought to freshen up a bit and starts to attempt make-up application - this goes reasonably well. The next task is to freshen breath - but reaching into her handbag she realises she is out of chewing gum. However, further rummaging produces gum shaped results, and, only metres away from the impossibly gorgeous man whose face she has been kissing only hours previously, she pops her findings in her mouth and chews vigourously.

Only to realise that although one of the items she has put in her mouth is definitely chewing gum (albeit a little fluffy), the other would more accurately be described as ibuprofen.

The two substances combine to form a gluey sticky chalky horrifying mess in her mouth, but for some reason this does not prompt her to slow down and deal with the problem elegantly. No, she keeps pace. She is gaining on them fast, all the while spitting and gagging and dribbling a viscose white goo from her mouth . . . You'll be pleased to know she managed to wipe the spaff-like substance from her face before the gorgeous boy turned round, but it was a bloody close thing.

The lesson? Clean out your handbag ladies, or, at the very least, don't put anything in your mouth unless you've had a good look at it first.