THREE LITTLE WORDS

POOOOMM! And she’s back. Yes folks you may have noticed the blog has been unnaturally quiet over the last few months during my Swedish sojourn but I’m back with a bang and doesn’t my liver, and wallet, know about it. So, what have I learnt while I’ve been moonlighting as a girlfriend? Well, mostly that I’m not cut out to be a girlfriend right now (going AWOL for 48 hours at New Year probably isn’t good girlfriendy behaviour right?) And that I’m not prepared to settle for anything less than (nearly) perfect so I’m hitting the dating trail yet again. I also learnt to count to 10 in Swedish! Useful but it was time to cut and run before he started trying to teach me the Swedish for I love you...

I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats (ahem) wondering what trouble I've got myself into this time so I'll fill you in...it took a couple of weeks to set some stuff up – had to jettison a proper hottie who was incapable of completing a sentence without LOL LMAO PMSLing – but at last the fruits of my online labour were due to come to fruition this week with a hot date with a(nother) Kent boy (hopefully no ducks will die this time). But before that date rolled around up popped a man I’ve named the Clapham Dough Boy who accosted me at a Shoreditch bus stop in the wee small hours of the weekend and demanded I go out with him. Classy. So you can imagine my surprise when on date two - over cocktails at the Savoy - he revealed his true identity as the heir to a bread-based family fortune. My future as a lady wot lunches (on sandwiches made with the family bread presumably) was surely made! But before you start rolling out the bun in the oven jokes I’m afraid to say...money’s no substitute for chemistry and there wasn’t much passion in that particular passion kiss. NEXT!

Fortunately I managed to squeeze a date with Kent boy in between said first and second Clapham Dough Boy dates and that went with a lot more swing, although we’re both far too old for snogging on public transport. Must. Grow. Up. Second date is next week and I can only hope he chooses a better venue this time...I damn nearly cancelled the first one when my disbelieving eyes read the other three little words any self-respecting girl dreads: ALL BAR ONE.